My beautiful eldest daughter, my wonderful son in law, and my very precious beautiful grandson have moved over 2600 miles away.
I am devastated. Understatement of the century.
I missed his first birthday. His first steps. I'm going to miss his first Santa Claus.
If one more freaking moron tells me its not a big deal because I can apparently just jump on an airplane and fly out there any day or time I want... I swear to you I'm going to snatch out their vocal chords. Or tell me that I should not be sad because it "at least I have children". And this person would "give anything to have what I have"?! WELL EXCUSE ME... first off, I'm sorry you haven't entered married life yet...that's not my fault. Love doesn't always show up when we want it to. But yes... it always comes! And hopefully you won't have to go through this too at some point.
You want to have a grandchild you barely got to see, and then have your precious grandbaby ripped away from you for the next several years? Oh yeah. I can plainly see how anyone would love that. And I want to know what the hell gives anybody out there right to tell me when or how I am "allowed" to be heartbroken??
I am sick and tired of hearing how such and such's kid moved to Japan, or how their kids moved far away and they missed seeing their grandkids grow up. Apparently I am supposed to be happy as crap, and not miss them. Because apparently the level of a heartache and severe depression that I am going through right now is apparently somehow stupid, silly, unwarranted, and I need to just get a freaking grip. Well, you know what?? This FEELS like a death. They are going to be out there for the next five years. I have already missed milestones... and I'm going to miss more. I can't say anything to anyone. I'm being "melodramatic' or I need to "get a grip"... well EXCUSE ME for actually loving my kids and my grandbaby. Goody goody for you that you went through it too and it evidently didn't bother you. I'm not going to apologize for loving and missing my family. And oh, aren't you just terribly brave that you never shed a tear and went on with life like nothing happened?! Whatever.
Pop on a plane... SURE!! Here, let me whip out round trip airfare for three people, tell hubby just take off from work for a week or two, and throw my doggies in a kennel for two weeks... where they will be terrified and depressed and refuse to eat.. because that's exactly what happened before when I had to leave them for just a weekend.
NO ONE has any right to tell you how to grieve. I have gotten where I don't even want to talk to other people. I don't CARE. They've GOT their kids. Oh please.. complain and moan about how rough you've got it.... You can hug yours any time. I'd give anything to hug mine.
Every day I hope the phone rings. Every day I hope for pictures. My grandsons first birthday was last week. I should have been there. With him on my lap. Kissing his sweet little head. But no. I'm laying here not giving a tiny rats butt about anything else, because my heart feels like its been ripped out. There is literally no one I can talk to. It infuriates me when other people feel they need to tell me what and how I'm allowed to hurt. Tell me I cry too much. That I need to get over it. Get a grip...
Just leave me alone. Go away.
I am devastated. Understatement of the century.
I missed his first birthday. His first steps. I'm going to miss his first Santa Claus.
If one more freaking moron tells me its not a big deal because I can apparently just jump on an airplane and fly out there any day or time I want... I swear to you I'm going to snatch out their vocal chords. Or tell me that I should not be sad because it "at least I have children". And this person would "give anything to have what I have"?! WELL EXCUSE ME... first off, I'm sorry you haven't entered married life yet...that's not my fault. Love doesn't always show up when we want it to. But yes... it always comes! And hopefully you won't have to go through this too at some point.
You want to have a grandchild you barely got to see, and then have your precious grandbaby ripped away from you for the next several years? Oh yeah. I can plainly see how anyone would love that. And I want to know what the hell gives anybody out there right to tell me when or how I am "allowed" to be heartbroken??
I am sick and tired of hearing how such and such's kid moved to Japan, or how their kids moved far away and they missed seeing their grandkids grow up. Apparently I am supposed to be happy as crap, and not miss them. Because apparently the level of a heartache and severe depression that I am going through right now is apparently somehow stupid, silly, unwarranted, and I need to just get a freaking grip. Well, you know what?? This FEELS like a death. They are going to be out there for the next five years. I have already missed milestones... and I'm going to miss more. I can't say anything to anyone. I'm being "melodramatic' or I need to "get a grip"... well EXCUSE ME for actually loving my kids and my grandbaby. Goody goody for you that you went through it too and it evidently didn't bother you. I'm not going to apologize for loving and missing my family. And oh, aren't you just terribly brave that you never shed a tear and went on with life like nothing happened?! Whatever.
Pop on a plane... SURE!! Here, let me whip out round trip airfare for three people, tell hubby just take off from work for a week or two, and throw my doggies in a kennel for two weeks... where they will be terrified and depressed and refuse to eat.. because that's exactly what happened before when I had to leave them for just a weekend.
NO ONE has any right to tell you how to grieve. I have gotten where I don't even want to talk to other people. I don't CARE. They've GOT their kids. Oh please.. complain and moan about how rough you've got it.... You can hug yours any time. I'd give anything to hug mine.
Every day I hope the phone rings. Every day I hope for pictures. My grandsons first birthday was last week. I should have been there. With him on my lap. Kissing his sweet little head. But no. I'm laying here not giving a tiny rats butt about anything else, because my heart feels like its been ripped out. There is literally no one I can talk to. It infuriates me when other people feel they need to tell me what and how I'm allowed to hurt. Tell me I cry too much. That I need to get over it. Get a grip...
Just leave me alone. Go away.
