Finding Freedom

  

Being a big girl is not any fun.  From buying clothes, to not swimming with my kids for fear of public embarrassment, to sucking all the wind out of the state of Florida if I have to do any walking.  We won't even discuss theme parks, or just life in general... living every single day with too much weight on every single part of your body.  When you're a big gal, it's like being in prison.. except the prison is your own body.  I want out.  I want to find freedom from weight, and get my life back.

I've been on a billion diets.  I've had weight loss surgery.  (don't waste your time or money... it's a money maker like anything else, trust me on this).   I've done the shots.  Drank the protein shakes, attended the meetings where they applaud you when you lose a pound.  I've weighed and measure, mixed, blended, and done test strips.  I've given up veggies and grains, and lived off of meat only.   I've joined gyms and gotten literally pointed at and laughed at by a couple of skinny, nasty little witches who obviously had no manners, sense of decency, or hearts.  I left crying and never went back... but it took me three years to pay off the membership I never used.

So, I have decided I am going to do the best I can, on my own.  God knows I've done enough diets... and being not too terribly stupid, I have a decent sense of what I should or should not be eating.

I have also come to realize, that I tend to do better when I have to write down what I am consuming.  It makes me be accountable.

Today I've already had a couple of glasses of tea with sugar, and for late lunch, (since I skipped breakfast), some leftover haluski from dinner last night.  These were NOT good choices, obviously but what is done is done.

I will start by cutting out the chemicals and the  white stuff.  White flour, sugar, (Lord please help me with my sugar addiction), white rice and processed foods.  However I will still use raw honey.  I want to focus on traditional, whole, unrefined foods, and LOTS of fresh veggies, sea vegetables and fruit.  

I'm now doing water with lemon, which is actually quite refreshing.

I absolutely HAVE to do this.  Not a diet, but some life changes.   I am afraid if I don't, I will not live to be old.   And I don't want to merely exist.  I want to LIVE.  I've missed out on enough already.  I don't want to miss any more.