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Thursday, February 19, 2015

Waiting For The Crows



I remember years ago I was watching an episode of 'Dharma & Greg'.   Abby's cycle had stopped, and, given her age, (40's presumably), she mistakenly thought she'd started menopause.  "I'm a crone!", she told Dharma as they happily hugged.  

My Southern ears didn't hear "crone".  I heard crow

Okay so in my mind,  crows make me think sunflowers.... and that makes me think of late summer...  leading into Autumn...  and a woman ending the summer of her life ..... and entering the Autumn....   Okay... don't judge me...  this made sense in my head.

So,  given I am but a short time before qualifying for AARP, (gulp), I can say with complete confidence that my baby-makin' days are over.  That's fine.  Yes I still have days I weep for the children I didn't get ..... (I dearly, DEARLY adore my two darling girls,  but yes I really would have preferred a whole houseful.) ...... But I digress.  I have grandbabies (hopefully one day) to look forward to... .....not that I am in any rush...  but one day I want to be a spoilin', cookie-bakin' grandma.  Yep.  Sounds good to me.  

My youngest child will be 15 this year.  I am on the verge of entering a new phase of my life...  gone is the maiden...   the child-bearing years ending....   please, God.......please let this be soon, I am tired of the Full Moon Rising.. .(if you get my meaning)...   and I'm ready for the next phase of my life to start.   

One night under a beautiful sky... I'm standing out in the yard, ......arms reaching Heavenward,....... looking longing into the Universe...  suddenly my reverie is interrupted by my eldest.  
"Momma, what are you doing?"
Me: (dreamily)  "Waiting for the crows to start circling.".

She looks at me..... expressionless...... 
and she turns and walks back into the house without a word.

'Moms being weird again.'

Later that evening I'm online...  reading about moon-times, herbal teas, and so forth...  when I see ......
it's NOT the 'crow' phase. 

  It's CRONE.

Well.  Don't I just feel like a duck.  

Fine.  Whatever.  I mispronounce things all the time.  Partially because my Southern tongue can't say non Southern words or expressions very well...  but it's mostly because I'm a hayseed.  Yeah, I admit it.  Anyway.

The Crone phase sounds lovely.  The Crone is the wise older woman of the tribe.  She's been there.  She's like the 'Wise Old Rafiki' like on the Lion King.   But.. without being a monkey.  :)   

I'm ready.  I know... in God's time... not mine.   

But if you see any crows..  point 'em in my direction.  :)

Just in case.

1 comment:

  1. You write beautifully Susan. Please post again :)

    ReplyDelete