Embracing Lent

Today is better.  No ugliness, no fighting, no ..... feeling that the devil is living in my home.  I sprinkled holy water and blessed salt and prayed through a certain section of the house, and begged prayers from one and all.  To say that is has helped is an understatement.   Today I am doing it again, and this time I'm getting the entire house.   I've also taken to adding blessed salt (just a pinch) to all of our food, and a drop of holy water to each pitcher of tea or whatever drink I make.   The most problematic part of the house is void of a crucifix... that will be changing asap.  I had a Medjugorje holy water font in there before, but mysteriously, it "broke".  Hmmm.  I will get small crucifixes, get them blessed, and am putting them WAY UP HIGH over the door.   I aim to do that to every door of the house.  Including our front and back doors.  Which leads me to the question, do I put them up on the inside over the door, or outside, over the door?  I'm a bit confuddled on that point.

 Our parish is having masses at 7:15 and at noon, with confessions before each.   I may actually try to make that early one.  (which will truly be an act of God if I can make it there that early!)

So today I did a bit of shopping...  picking up some Lent staples, such as canned tuna,  and ingredients for a few, easy to prepare meatless comfort food meals that don't include beans.  (I have a shelf full of beans already!)  With my non-Catholic husband, who dutifully is meatless with us, I try to make things he likes so it is easier on him.   

So today I get out my purple candle holder... dusting off and redecorating my little alter table, (an old pie safe).   Lent, lent, bring on Lent!!  How I cannot wait!!  The ashes, the incense, the immersion in prayers and readings... the fasting and abstinence... the smallness of us and the bigness of God.   I feel I must make haste... and clean like Jesus is coming over (physically) for a visit!   I want to put away the distractions... but can I do it?  Will I make an effort to do this every day?  Will it last?  

I have been such a fickle Catholic... I've been hit and miss at mass for about a year now... some days I flat out did not want to go... and then at the end of the day, I felt a sadness that I didn't.  Some days I just felt too overwhelmed or tired or drained to go... it's been a struggle... and I know that it was the devil giving me excuses in my ear to use and to say, and reminding me of sadness and frailties and so forth.  Old Smut Face has been busy.  And I want, with all of my heart, to TOTALLY tick him off. :)   I think embracing Lent is a good place to start.

Non-Acceptance and Other Myths

Warning.  I did not hold back when I wrote this.  And I was angry when I wrote it, so I don't care.

You know what makes me really mad??  I am a Conservative Catholic.  A right winger.  Which means that I love babies and believe that life starts with conception and that if you have a baby you don't want, then please put it up for adoption...  I believe in old fashioned Christian values.  Right is right, wrong is wrong.  I believe that if you break the law, you should be punished.  I was raised that a man's handshake was as good as his word.  And that ladies ACT like ladies.   And children should be loved and let them grow and be innocent and the world is mean enough without subjecting them to things before they are mature enough to handle it.  Let them be kids for goodness sakes.  Childhood is too short as it is.

I believe in my second amendment rights.  If Mr. Axe Murderer comes into my house, I want to shoot him before he kills me and my children.  I don't want to be Clint Eastwood.  I just want to protect my family.  The Constitution says I have that right.

My parents raised me that if you can't say something nice, you don't say nothing at all.  Evidently not everyone was raised that way.  The fact that I love God and go to church and raise my kids and stay home and keep house and bake cookies and vote (as is EVERY registered voters right) as I believe is (in my opinion) the best choice that I can make... and I have done my part and go home and dutifully watch the results.  If my candidate of choice wins, then I am pleased and hope sincerely that they live up to their promises.   If the other guy wins, then I wish him the best and if he firmly believes in something I am against than I pray that he has a change of heart.  

There is, however, some screwed up thinking out there.  Evidently since I am NOT an "Obama" supporter, this somehow makes me "intolerant", "racist", "ignorant", "stupid", "backwards", an "extremest", and a whole slew of filthy ugly slurs I refuse to repeat here.   I can say with every ounce of honestly in me, I DON"T CARE what color he is.  We've had crappy white presidents too.  Don't be silly.  That has not a blessed thing to do with it.  It's his ACTIONS and what he says and does (or doesn't do) that I don't like.  

To any of you liberals out there, who are just waiting to set me on fire, let me ask you this.  You hate me because I am Catholic.  Okay.  Maybe you don't agree with the Church.  That's your business.  I am not asking you to convert.  But why are you throwing it out at me like it's a dirty word?  Does the crucifix I wear around my neck personally offend you?  Have I demanded your conversion?  Have I personally done something to you?  Well if it's ME your mad at, then be mad at ME... why hate an entire group because one person or even a small group of them somehow ticked you off.   If you are nice and polite, then so will I be.  But if you start name calling right of the bat.. do not expect me to be thrilled about that.

Because I don't (and won't) vote Democrat, (which, by the way, is my right as an American citizen), somehow this makes me a "rich fat cat" who only wishes to crush and stomp upon the poor.   Cause I'm so darn rich, don't you know.  Let me help you out with that.  We barely get by.  We are a one car family, and that one car is an old one.  We reuse, and recycle.  I thrift shop to save money.  We can't afford a lot of organics so I help at the co-op just so I can feed my kids better.   My dogs are lab mix mutts we rescued.  I shop at the thrift store out of necessity.  Yes, I homeschool but I buy the books all used.  Are you going to seriously tell me again what a 'rich fat cat' I am?   Come sit down on my 15 year old couch and I'll show you my recipes for homemade laundry soap.

I am SICK AND TIRED of being told how intolerant and close-minded and hypocritical we "right-wingers" are.  Are you kidding me.  I joined a 'secular' homeschool group.  Knowing I was the only Christian in the group and I was physically cornered and verbally attacked.  My crime was wearing a small crucifix around my neck.  I hadn't said a peep about any religion at all.  We were just there for arts and crafts and lunch with the other homeschool families!  I left crying, and never went back.  They swore they were open-minded and tolerant.  But only if I was Wiccan or whatever.  That didn't include any 'flavor' of Christian.  So WHY are they (and many, MANY like them) are ONLY open minded and tolerant if you drink the same flavor of koolaid that they do?  Not very open minded of them, now is it?  I wasn't there to recruit new church members.  I was only there so my kids could play and have some fun.  And that's what we got.  

I am a mom.  A Catholic.  I raise my kids to the best of my ability.  I try very hard to be nice to everyone, and hope they are nice back to me.  I am friendly, and talkative, and even if we are as different as different can be, I will try and find something we have in common that we can both relate to, and try and build from that.  Not everyone wants to be friends.  Trust me on this.  I have friends of different races and religions.  I have dated boys (years ago) who were white, Cuban, and Jewish.  I've had friends of every race.. and ones who were gay.. straight, and two that were 'bi'.   But they all had the best thing in common.  Good hearts, lovable personalities, and I cared very much about all of them.  Some I am still friends with, and I love them!

People come to my house... and see my organic produce, my beaded jewelry, my long skirts and my Birkenstocks and my reusable green bottle and they assume I am a liberal democrat.  No. I am a crunchy Conservative.   I love the Earth.  I love God.  God has blessed us with such wonderful things here in His world... shouldn't we do our best to take care of them?  Yes, I think we should.   And shame on us if we don't.  I have hugged trees.  And I have hugged babies.  All life is sacred.  That tree is NOT more important than that baby.  ALL LIFE is sacred and important and worth saving.  "All you need is love.".... right?

I know the gay rights thing is going to come up, so let me clear the air on this one right now.  Now I am not asking anyone to agree or to disagree.   This is my blog and my opinion.   You can share my opinion, or not.  That is your choice and even if I don't agree with it, I will respect it.  Here goes.  I do NOT hate gay people.  I have had gay friends.  My daughter has gay friends.  I have a cousin who is gay.  Gay neighbors... a sweetheart of a man I know is gay...  and I love him to pieces!!   Gay rights.  What IS gay rights?  Seriously?   IF you mean that gay people have the right to work and live and pray and worship and live peacefully... well DUH that is a "gimmee".  That's not a "gay" right that is a HUMAN right and we ALL deserve it regardless if you are gay or straight or black or white or purple.  Why would I attack a gay person?  Why attack a Christian??  Why attack a Jew??  Why attack a homeless man??  Why all the hate??  

Why would you attack me for being a Catholic?  I have never, ever bashed or attacked anyone gay.  Come to think of it, I've never (to my knowledge) had any gay person attack me either.  Who I HAVE had attack me is people who know I am conservative and start telling me what they THINK I think/feel/believe.   Gay marriage.  No I am sorry I am against it.  I am NOT against gays.  Not in the least.  But that is one thing I just cannot agree on.   They have the right to be loved, respected, and have happy lives.  Gay people are made in the image of God and DESERVE respect just as any human being does.  I have a "friend" who angrily told me "no one should tell you who you can and cannot love".  DUH.  I DIDN'T SAY THAT.   I love all kinds of people.  I love animals too.  I would hate anyone to tell me who I could not love.  I wouldn't listen... I'd love who I wanted to anyway.  I am not talking about love.  I am talking about marriage which is a Holy Sacrament and a Covenant between an man and a woman AND GOD ...and if this offends you I am sorry...I understand they feel love for another person but any marriage is NOT based on just feelings..  heck I can't change rules to suit myself and no one should be able to redefine things to suit their agenda.  Maybe you don't like that or believe that or maybe you don't even believe in God at all.  But my point is this.  This is MY faith and MY beliefs.  Not all Catholics believe the same.  Not all Conservatives are recycling and reusing and eating organic beans either.  But neither is every liberal.  

NO one.. not you... not me... wants to be 'lumped in' with the few extremists in every group.  Just because I am pro-life does not make me one of those nut cases who bomb abortion clinics and fist fight people.  (Those weirdos belong IN JAIL!)  They give us regular pro-lifers a seriously bad name.  Nope.  I am just peacefully on the sidewalk, praying silently, holding up my sign, and hoping that you change your mind about killing your baby.   Just because I am Southern does not make me a racist.  That is ignorant to even suggest.  A while back I had some nasty mouthed person tell me that the Holy Father (the pope) was the "new Hitler" and I was a "mindless" "sheep" who was incapable of thinking for myself.  Oh, nice.. gee thanks.  Baaahhhh??  Pffft.

Lastly... As a mom, and I am standing in a check out line mentally counting to make sure I (a) got the necessities and (b) getting my coupons in order, and (c) hoping I didn't overspend... the woman in front of me has a nice new "the latest and greatest" cell phone.  (mine is old, cracked, out of date, pay-by-the-month), Hair obviously just had done.  Salon nails.  Name brand nice clothes. One of the 'big label" purses on her arm, and she pulls out a big ol' wad of cash to pay for her alcohol and lottery tickets and a ton of other stuff.. and then uses her food stamp card for the rest.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??  I 'shared' my "wealth" so she could do this?   I am living paycheck to paycheck, and haven't had a decent haircut in months, but Miss Thang has her hand out...  oh... sorry.  I guess I am just being a closed minded unaccepting hypocrite again.  I am sorry.. but I resent that.  I resent that my kids do without because of those who abuse the system.  If there is a genuine need, then YES by all means, please do help that family.  I believe in a hand UP not a hand OUT.  But enabling the ones who use the system and just take and take.. I am SICK of it.  It's not right. :(   But that makes 'me' a hypocrite and unloving and a 'rich fatcat' and so forth and so on...  WHATEVER. :(   Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.  Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime..

Rant over.