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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Lowly am I

Lowly am I.
Jesus is the Son, and I want so much to have His Light Shine down upon me, who deserves nothing.
How I desire His Light, His goodness!

His Mercy is the only thing sustaining me.

My mouth cannot find the words to convey to Him, 
all the things my heart wants Him to know.
But He knows anyway.  

My weakness, frailty, and miserably poor spirit shame me.
I am unworthy.  Pathetic.  And ashamed.

Demons attack my family, and my heart.  
My courage and strength fail me.  My eyes, ears, and very thoughts deceive me. 
The demons even attack through family and friends sometimes.
It is painful.  I feel utterly alone, except for Him.

He alone, my heart clings to, even through my unfaithfulness to Him through my thoughts and deeds.
How miserable I am.  
Why do I ignore the One who has never ignored me?

Lowly, I am.  Deserving to be crushed.  Mind, body, and soul for my sinfulness.  
My wretchedness.  
My pride.  

His Infinite Mercy is to great to fathom.   
I am grateful He loves despite all I lack, have never and can never be.
The King and the Rock and the Great One of all ages.  
Of the Universe.
I am but a drop of water in the ocean.  A grain of sand on a beach.  THAT insignificant.
So why should He care for me?  
How can I even begin to show Him how I love Him in return?
My wretchedness.. grief.. and woefulness distress me so much... I know not where to even begin.
I am always... truly... gratefully... at His Mercy.

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