Sunday, April 14, 2013

Finding Freedom


  

Being a big girl is not any fun.  From buying clothes, to not swimming with my kids for fear of public embarrassment, to sucking all the wind out of the state of Florida if I have to do any walking.  We won't even discuss theme parks, or just life in general... living every single day with too much weight on every single part of your body.  When you're a big gal, it's like being in prison.. except the prison is your own body.  I want out.  I want to find freedom from weight, and get my life back.

I've been on a billion diets.  I've had weight loss surgery.  (don't waste your time or money... it's a money maker like anything else, trust me on this).   I've done the shots.  Drank the protein shakes, attended the meetings where they applaud you when you lose a pound.  I've weighed and measure, mixed, blended, and done test strips.  I've given up veggies and grains, and lived off of meat only.   I've joined gyms and gotten literally pointed at and laughed at by a couple of skinny, nasty little witches who obviously had no manners, sense of decency, or hearts.  I left crying and never went back... but it took me three years to pay off the membership I never used.

So, I have decided I am going to do the best I can, on my own.  God knows I've done enough diets... and being not too terribly stupid, I have a decent sense of what I should or should not be eating.


I have also come to realize, that I tend to do better when I have to write down what I am consuming.  It makes me be accountable.


Today I've already had a couple of glasses of tea with sugar, and for late lunch, (since I skipped breakfast), some leftover haluski from dinner last night.  These were NOT good choices, obviously but what is done is done.

I will start by cutting out the chemicals and the  white stuff.  White flour, sugar, (Lord please help me with my sugar addiction), white rice and processed foods.  However I will still use raw honey.  I want to focus on traditional, whole, unrefined foods, and LOTS of fresh veggies, sea vegetables and fruit.  

I'm now doing water with lemon, which is actually quite refreshing.


I absolutely HAVE to do this.  Not a diet, but some life changes.   I am afraid if I don't, I will not live to be old.   And I don't want to merely exist.  I want to LIVE.  I've missed out on enough already.  I don't want to miss any more.   

12 comments:

  1. I so understand how you feel and will keep you in my prayers as always.

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    1. Thank you Missy Sweetheart!! I pray for y'all too!

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  2. I have the cookbook Nourishing Traditions if you are interested in borrowing it. Hugs!

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    1. Thank you! I would very much like to borrow your book. :) Right now I am relying on "Prescription For Nutritional Healing", and "The Self-Healing Cookbook" by Kristina Turner.

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  3. today I am starting on my 1/2 cup diet ... or muffin tin diet ... I found a muffin tin with 6 cups (actually 1/2 cups) so I am going to try portion control and see if this will help ... this way I can eat what I want just at a 1/2 cup portion. meat, vegetable, starch, fruit, a place for my drink and a napkin ...
    something to try and I want to walk more

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    1. Sandy I have done a million diets and they have never worked for very long. I am trying to do life changes instead of a 'diet'.

      HALF of what I consume really needs to be veggies. So I am starting this off by having Mark shred my cabbage on his mandolin into thin shreds. I am going to make the crunchy cabbage salad recipe I have, which is cabbage, carrot, vinegar & soy sauce. It should have sprouts and watercress in it, but I will have to do without. I plan to get a sprouter asap. I can add flax seed... better than nothing.. and some dill.

      I just made my first "healthy" dip. I used a can of black eyed peas, drained and poured into my Ninja. I peeled several cloves of garlic, and added those, along with a drizzle of sesame oil and a bit of soy sauce and some dill. Even the kids like this. The garlic is super strong with a bite to it... but pretty tasty with sweet crunchy carrots. :)

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  4. Susan,

    Life changes really sounds the way to go. Changing the whole family's diet helps because everyone is eating the same food. All in it together. Keep moving joyfully around your kitchen, cooking up healthy dishes. You will get there! I am praying for you.

    God bless!

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  6. I'm so with you on this! I had to go shopping yesterday and I have never been more depressed. I can't believe how far I have allowed this to go.....how out of control it really is. Sigh....I will encourage you as much as I can. You can do this Susan! You can.

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    1. Thank you Miss Nancy!! I know it's hard for you as well.. :( If I get any wider, I will be as wide as I am tall... which will make me round.. like the beach ball I already feel like. Time for me to shake off the depression, dance around the house, and love me some veggies. Rome wasn't built in a day. We CAN do this. We can't give up. Love you!! ♥ ♥

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  7. Susan... I just love you to death and you have another sister in this! Although Mary has told me a bunch of times, I guess it's finally starting to sink in that honey is a natural sweetener. I just need to make the switches so the masses in the house don't find out. Hehe

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