As anyone can see, I have been most negligent of this blog... I got to the point I wondered if this was not an indulgence in pride, and for that matter, did anyone even read it anyway? What do I have to offer? What difference does what I think make? However. I have come to the conclusion that out there, is someone else out there.. and she's sad and confused and selfish and prideful like me... with all the doubts and fears and struggles like I do. And if you're out there, you're not alone, and I love you. Keep your chin up. Keep your dignity, and stay faithful to God and where your God-filled heart leads you. He is all we have.
So tomorrow is Shrove Tuesday. So bring on the Pancakes and leftover chocolate before Ash Wednesday, where we'll attend mass, receive our ashes, have Confession (hopefully) and spend the next forty days abstaining, fasting, and growing closer to God. Some years I'm not too shabby at this. Some years I fail miserably. I am determined to make this year awesome, spiritually.
The last few days have been my own personal hell. I have not cried so much since I lost my friend Stephanie, and my darling Grandpop... my heart feels ripped out. And then today, we find out about our beloved Papa's resignation. Pope Benedict is leaving the Seat of Peter vacant at 8PM, February 28th. I love our Papa... and this adds to my tears and grief. However, after some thought and prayer, I have given it all to God.. I just sort of went, "Here You go. I am too little and too weak... I am giving this to You." And I got a feeling of peace, immediately. I am still upset about the personal things that have occurred, but God is with me... and He is making it easier for me to bear.
The last few days have taught me a few things. I have a few wonderful, beautiful friends that I love with all my heart... and that even in my selfish, most prideful times when I'm ignoring God... He still does not ignore me. :) What a wonderful Father we have!! Such a miserable thing that I am... but He just dusts me off and hugs me anyway. How awesome is THAT??!! I am blessed beyond measure. :)
Have a great Lent everyone. Love to you all, from me, here in Dixieland. :)
Peace be with you!