Anniversary Treasure Hunting

Do you like thrift stores?  My family and I do.  I love going from thrift store to thrift store, rummaging through bags and boxes to find treasures.  Sometimes we leave empty handed.  Sometimes we hit pay dirt.

This past weekend was a long one for us.  Sort of a mini, at-home vacation.  It was our 19th wedding anniversary.  Our girls decided to order pizza for themselves and have a "sister day", and hubby and I spent a lazy couple of days sleeping in, then him serving me breakfast in bed, (Yes, he's a great guy!  Yes, I think I'll keep him!), and then spending our days holding hands, having a nice drive and enjoying the sunny weather, and treasure hunting.

Out of the four stores we visited during our long weekend, I did manage to find some treasures.  Two books on Medjugorje, and some 'small' items... including some incense, decorative curtain rods, and a small cabinet that Mark will put up for me.  Here's my favorite find of all: 

Anchor Hocking "Savannah" casserole, in perfect condition.  I was thrilled.  They don't make these any more... not sure, but I believe they made these in the 80s.  Not that I'm an authority or anything.  Trust me, I'm not. :)

I also found a pink, natural salt rock tea light candle holder.  I've been wanting one. :)   The one I picked up is very similar to this one:

My last 'favorite item' is something to keep me busy.

You may not can tell, but this is actually a dozen skeins of yarn, plus a large roll of purple ribbon.  Be proud of me.. I refrained from openly doing a "happy dance" right there in the store.  Haha!

Survey Says!

I used to love watching Family Feud... and they'd say, "Survey says!", and the contestant would try and guess the most popular answers.  Loads of fun.  

Which leads me to this, since this, (in my mind) is similar  :)  ....  I was bored one day, and did one of those "bored" surveys.  I thought it was fun.  I challenge you all to take this survey too.  It's fun to see what everyone's answers are. :)

Dislikes:

-watermelon flavored candy

-snobbery

-Spelling mistakes

-Grammatical errors

-greasy food

-spicy food (I'm a wimp)

-Tilapia (I call them "poop fish" for a REASON!)  

-dental visits

-Soggy cereal

-Bono-bashers

-Plastic/Saran wrap

-Getting up early

-finger pointers/ judgmental people

-dog hair

-rude/mean/manipulative people

-bad manners

-swearing

My Favorite Words:

deliquesce - to describe that the salad has started to liquefy and it's way past time to toss it out

Gephyrophobia - anxiety from a fear of bridges. Bad thing to have in this "river" city!! :)

Godiva - does that really need any explanation?

On Sale! Not a "word" exactly, but definitely something I enjoy

Places I'd Love to Visit:

-The Shire!

-London, England.. especially if The Doctor is there.. :)

-Rome

-EWTN

-The Holy Land

-Ireland

-Hawaii

Random Other Information:

- my favorite cartoon character is Garfield the cat

-the first cartoons I read is Famiy Circus, Marmaduke, Blondie, Garfield, and Pearls Before Swine

-my favorite game is Mah Jong

-I've had 4 hernias, 3 kidney stones, and two children.

-I could spend all day in a library or a bookstore

-I have seen the Rolling Stones one time in concert.

- I have seen U2 in concert three times. :)

Random (favorite) Activities:

-cooking/baking

-book sales/library/book stores

-museums

-thrifting

-farmers markets

My Favorite Things from When I Was Little:

Flintstones Push-Up Pops

Fun Dip

Space Dust

my hippety hop

turtles, frogs, and toads

Climbing Magnolia trees

Daddy grilling out

Camping in the mountains

helping Momma shell peas

feeding chickens and gathering eggs

sitting in my grandparents laps

Books on My Personal Reading List:

books about the Saints

Any book by Amy Tan

"What Do You Say To A Naked Elf?" by Cheryl Sterling  (don't judge me!) LOL

Anything in the "historical romance' section as long as it isn't smutty

I've read all the Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, and all the Sookie Stackhouse books

Love reading classics with my kids

 "A mother is the most important person on earth. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any Cathedral -- a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's body." -- Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty

Tea Deprivation, Fried Bologna, and Earth Mother Soup

Today was the official *Day One* of making changes to what me and my family are eating.  I have vowed that half of what we consume needs to be vegetables, and though we are not 'going vegetarian', we are definitely going more plant based and closer to the earth.  

So last night I, (in the spirit of starting things off right), had some stir fried cabbage for my dinner.  I wanted something "yummy" after the cabbage.. so I consulted one of my books and made my first "healthy" dip/spread.   I used a can of black eyed peas, drained and poured into my Ninja.   I peeled several cloves of garlic,  and added those, along with a drizzle of sesame oil and a bit of soy sauce and some dill.  Even the kids liked this.  The garlic is super strong, with a bite to it... but pretty tasty with sweet crunchy carrots. :)   We are safe from the Cullens.  Hahaa!

However, this morning my stomach let me know it was greatly displeased with me after the cabbage and bean dip from last night.  Undaunted, I was feeling rather happy and excited about this new journey, and after all, it was all delicious (all that good fresh stuff!) and I was "going to DO this!".  

Heading into the kitchen, I felt very aware of 'not' getting the tea from the pantry.  I have made a pitcher of tea every morning ever since we got married.  I make it fresh in the morning and we drink it during the day.  It felt weird to not make a big gallon pitcher of sweet tea.... but ... I don't want all that sugar.

Instead I dutifully ignored the tea and poured a big glass of water with lemon.   I missed my tea.   And I am not giving up caffeine.  Well.. I might later but it's not a priority right now.  I am wondering if I can get where I can drink a cup of tea with just a teaspoon of honey and lemon?    Instead of all sugared up and milky? 

What about my iced tea?  Can I learn to drink it unsweetened?    We should drink more herbal teas too.   And again, without all the sugar I am used to.  Gah.  It's going to take some getting used to.  

Breakfast... Instead of making myself a fried bologna sandwich like I REALLY wanted...  Nope... I toasted some Ezekiel bread with only a 'bit' of blueberry preserve.  (See my halo?  Haha..  I was also proud of myself for not touching the butter that was calling my name).

   

My stomach growling, (wanting that fried bologna I denied it, and is already saying, "Are you KIDDING ME?") I put on a simmering crock pot of "Earth Mother Soup", (for supper... soup is very comforting), steamed a dish of sprouted brown rice, (not a vat of it like my stomach wanted), and made a nice bowl of crunchy cabbage salad that we can eat today and tomorrow.  Looking in my fridge, I saw tomatoes that were getting "iffy", so I pan-fried slices of green tomatoes.   (waste is sinful, right?)  I ate two slices, and my stomach was VERY unimpressed.  

There's leftover pork in the fridge that can be eaten with the rice or crumbled into the soup.    There's also leftover bean dip I made last night that is quite good...  We need to get the mindset of having meat "with" dinner instead of "for" dinner.  More raw foods, such as the crunchy cabbage salad.  

My stomach is REALLY peeved at me.  I know a bad stomach ache is coming.  This happens every time I make the move to more natural foods.  It's a shock to the system.   My body will get used to this, right?

**************

Earth Mother Soup can be made many, many ways... love is the main ingredient!   Today's Earth Mother Soup recipe is: 

In the crockpot, measure out 2 cups of Bob's Red Mill Whole Grains and Beans Soup Mix, and 8 cups of water.  Add 2 cut up carrots, 1 cup of shredded cabbage, 1 can of organic diced tomatoes, and about a cup of dried mushrooms, which I chopped up before adding.  Salt and pepper, minced garlic, (a big tablespoon) and a bay leaf.  It's a nice thick soup.  Very tasty.  You can add meat or whatever you want to it. 

Crunchy Cabbage Salad recipe~  a head of cabbage shredded, a carrot shredded if you would like, apple cider vinegar & sesame oil.  It should have sprouts and watercress in it, but I will have to do without.  I plan to get a sprouter asap.  I can add flax seed... better than nothing.. and some dill.  Toss it all together.. lovely.  I even added a few English peas for interest. 

Finding Freedom

  

Being a big girl is not any fun.  From buying clothes, to not swimming with my kids for fear of public embarrassment, to sucking all the wind out of the state of Florida if I have to do any walking.  We won't even discuss theme parks, or just life in general... living every single day with too much weight on every single part of your body.  When you're a big gal, it's like being in prison.. except the prison is your own body.  I want out.  I want to find freedom from weight, and get my life back.

I've been on a billion diets.  I've had weight loss surgery.  (don't waste your time or money... it's a money maker like anything else, trust me on this).   I've done the shots.  Drank the protein shakes, attended the meetings where they applaud you when you lose a pound.  I've weighed and measure, mixed, blended, and done test strips.  I've given up veggies and grains, and lived off of meat only.   I've joined gyms and gotten literally pointed at and laughed at by a couple of skinny, nasty little witches who obviously had no manners, sense of decency, or hearts.  I left crying and never went back... but it took me three years to pay off the membership I never used.

So, I have decided I am going to do the best I can, on my own.  God knows I've done enough diets... and being not too terribly stupid, I have a decent sense of what I should or should not be eating.

I have also come to realize, that I tend to do better when I have to write down what I am consuming.  It makes me be accountable.

Today I've already had a couple of glasses of tea with sugar, and for late lunch, (since I skipped breakfast), some leftover haluski from dinner last night.  These were NOT good choices, obviously but what is done is done.

I will start by cutting out the chemicals and the  white stuff.  White flour, sugar, (Lord please help me with my sugar addiction), white rice and processed foods.  However I will still use raw honey.  I want to focus on traditional, whole, unrefined foods, and LOTS of fresh veggies, sea vegetables and fruit.  

I'm now doing water with lemon, which is actually quite refreshing.

I absolutely HAVE to do this.  Not a diet, but some life changes.   I am afraid if I don't, I will not live to be old.   And I don't want to merely exist.  I want to LIVE.  I've missed out on enough already.  I don't want to miss any more.   

Being Joyful

Twelve years ago, when my youngest daughter was an infant, she literally had eleven appointments a week, EVERY week, for two years.  Physical, Occupational, Speech, and Cognitive therapies, as well as vision services.  Because my baby was born a little different, as we all are in our own ways

Out of those eleven appointments a week, only two of them were conducted in our home.   All the other appointments, were down at the childrens' hospital, on the therapy ward they had at that time... with all the other special needs kids and parents.  Naturally, we made friends, got to know the other families.  My two girls spent so much time there, it never dawned on them that anyone was 'different'.  Even my eldest who was eight years old at the time we first started going, didn't bat an eyelash at a little friend who was born with her arms on 'backwards', with knees and elbows and ankles that didn't bend.  Many kids unable to walk, talk, unable to move at all.  But kids are kids... they readily accepted each other.  While my youngest was in therapy, my eldest would lay on the mats with kids who had NO movement.. none at ALL.. and she'd sing and chatter and read with them, and I would see their smiling faces and hear their laughter..  kids are kids.. it really was a beautiful thing. 

Dealing with doctors and therapists.... that was a hard time for me then.  My eldest who had just turned 8 years old had just gotten diagnosed with ADHD and ODD... and now I had just had this little year old baby girl too... and she was born legally blind, the myelin in her brain not fully developed, and autistic...  and for me, it was a lot.  I felt overwhelmed.  It was a lot to take in.   I wondered if I was being punished by God.  I wondered if I'd done something when I was pregnant to cause it.  Because, surely, this was my fault?  It had to be.  I cried a lot.  I felt pulled in a hundred directions.  Depression and anxiety were a daily thing for me.. but I kept going, because I had to.. I had no choice.  My girls needed their Momma.  Dinner still had to be cooked, the laundry washed, the dog walked and fed, and homework completed.  I struggled to find joy... it seemed to be hidden away from me.  And it felt permanent.

Looking around on the therapy floor... sometimes it was hard to not cry.   Severe deformities, diseases, illnesses, syndromes that I was not used to seeing...   I would try to smile...act normal... and then later I'd sob my heart out all the way home after our appointments after my kids passed out in the backseat.  How on earth did their families manage?   After all of the "why me, Lord?"... I had an epiphany.  "Why NOT me?"  Seeing the other kids who were severely impaired, or may not even live to see adulthood, made me realize how totally blessed I really was/am. God had given me two very precious gifts... my daughters.  And they are perfectly imperfect.  Exactly the way they are.   Two of the best reasons in the world to be joyful. 

My girls are now ages nineteen and twelve.  Last night I took my youngest to swim training for Special Olympics.  She still has very poor muscle tone, and is a slow, awkward swimmer.  Her legs spread apart instead of keeping them together, and she flails around as she tries to swim.  But she DOES swim!!  With a big smile on her face, she eagerly jumps into the water.   She may not be the fastest, but like her big sister, my girl is part mermaid... she loves jumping in the deep end, having fun, and then laying back to float... smiling up towards Heaven as she relaxes, enjoying the feeling of floating. And she is completely joyful in that moment.  

The Special Olympics is a God-send for us.  I absolutely LOVE that my daughter has friends who accept her, and she can play sports now... sports that she couldn't play before on a 'typical' team.  She isn't the 'odd kid out' anymore.  She is a "pea in a pod" with her team mates.  All that matters here is doing your best, and being brave enough to try.  They are friends.  They are actually pretty competitive, and they really, truly accept each other.  The Special Olympic athletes inspire me...   The volunteers I am so grateful for. God is GOOD!!!

Quirks

I am not not 'awesome'.

I am not a great housekeeper.

I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

I am not Mother of the Year.

I am not currently able to thread a sewing machine, let alone sew.

I am not crafty, and have to reply on kits, youtube, & crafty friends to do anything.

I am not patient.

I am not physically fit.

I am not tall.

I am not tech-savvy.

I am fat.

I am a bit of a Princess.

I am a fallen Southern Belle, who wishes I was a better one.. (not so fallen).

I am a good Southern cook, and I love feeding people.

I am blessed with a heavy Southern accent.
I am addicted to sweet iced tea.

I am careful of others' feelings.

I am tactful, and believe in good manners.

I am disgusted by profanity, and loud, ill-mannered people.

I am a great believer in modesty.

I am a tad obsessive.

I have phobias about shopping malls, bridges, and elevators.

I have a deep rooted fear about "losing control" in public.

I am sometimes short tempered and impatient.

I am clumsy, and have zero balance.

I am easily amused, too talkative, too friendly, and too easily hurt/wounded.

I am a Daddy's Girl.

I am devoted to my husband...

And..
I love my family completely.

I am guilty of taking things personally, taking them to heart, and unable to forget them.

I am the owner of a perpetually ill/painful stomach.

I am often suffering from depression or anxiety.

I am guilty of not wanting to talk to anyone or even step foot out-of-doors when I'm depressed.

I am often socially awkward.

I am a book nerd, a U2topian, and a Whovian.

I am the object of ridicule to a lot of people because most things I do are outside "the norm".

I am impressed by good writing, and admire the vision of artists in their work.

I am a collector of whimsical artsy things that catch my eye.

I am fond of plants, though I am terrible at growing them.

I like collecting pretty rocks and shells.

I love candles, potpourri, scented oils and incense, and always have some burning.

I am often sad, feel misunderstood, and wonder why I am even here.

I am very devout in my love for God, even though I know I totally suck and am never going to measure up.

I am far more forgiving of others than I am of myself.

I am in need of a good therapist.  Again.  

I am never going to stop messing things up, even though I don't mean to.

I am never going to be Super Mom. 

I am fiercely protective of my children.

I am loyal, empathetic, trusting, ....and fearful.

I am never going to get things right.  

I am my own worst critic.

I dream of living anonymously, miles away from anyone else.

I dream of having my own secret garden to get lost in.

I dream of having more babies, and having a huge family.  (impossible, but still)

I dream of being self-sufficient.

I dream of being strong, un-afraid, and capable.

I dream of the grandchildren that hopefully the Lord will bless me with one day.

Purpose to Please God... Not Others

Yesterday I blogged about my curse.   The curse of being a tender-hearted, sensitive person who "needs to get a grip" and "cries over everything".  I have thought about it... and I know God made me a softie for a reason.  I don't know what His reason was/is.  But if it pleases Him, who am I to argue?  But it sure does make things hard sometimes though!  I guess we all have our cross to bear.

A friend of mine stated yesterday on her facebook wall that "everything she does is 'wrong'".   I am sorry that someone made her feel that way.  She's an awesome person, and she does not deserve that.  

I am certain it was more than one person who hurt her.  Facebook, I swear, is one great big drama-fest.   Many times I have considered just deleting my account and forgetting about it.  I get tired of posting things (that I think is just something innocent) and that makes 'certain (obviously very bored) people' think that this is a great reason to argue with or attack me..publicly of course... or even worse, using what I post to make fun of me and spread their ugly embellished comments to others... all behind my back.  Again.   There are certain people in our lives that any of us SHOULD be able to trust, well... some of them you just CAN'T trust and probably never will.  That sounds bad but that is the truth.   And let's face it.  There are some who really, really think that the world revolves around them, so unless they are discussing how awesome they 'think' that they are, then they'd just as soon not even bother to converse at all.  Which, I have to tell you, would be perfectly fine with me.   So yeah... I don't post a lot any more.. and nothing personal if I can help it.   I'd rather just stay in my 'bubble'. :(

It stinks to feel like you're constantly disappointing people for not being a certain way.  I try and remember that as long as I am striving to please God, and that I am being the best wife and mom I can be, than that is ALL that matters.  But you know, sometimes it's hard when other people think you're screwed up as Hogan's Goat.   *laughs*  I guess it wouldn't be so hard if I weren't such a people pleaser to go with everything else.   Too friendly.  Too trusting.  Too easily fooled.  Too Sensitive...  *sighs*.... 

Sensitive and screwed up.  That's me.  But God loves me anyway.  *big grin*